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tween's and chastity

We discovered our 9 year old soon to be 10 son was viewing inappropriate material on my iPod via the internet. Where can I find a book or something else that will help us talk to him about this.

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Permalink Reply by SAHMinIL on March 25, 2011 at 9:13am

I don't have any answers for you, but I'm curious how you were able to discover what he was doing. My own son is 9 and will be 10 soon. My husband and I just upgraded our phones to smart phones. I don't have the slightest clue on how to determine if he (or my daughter) was viewing inappropriate matter on the phone.

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Permalink Reply by Lynn Altomari on March 25, 2011 at 9:22am

On the Safari icon you can view the history (a little book at the bottom of the page). I always view the history button of our internet connection at home just to verify they were where they say they have been. I discovered the history button with the help of the child in question.

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Permalink Reply by SAHMinIL on March 25, 2011 at 9:34am

Besides clearly talking with him. I wonder if you can get blocks and filters for the phone. My husband and I way before the kids even started to use the internet or online gaming we installed filters and blocks on our computer so they can't view any of that stuff on our computer, not only that but sites like facebook, twitter, and other social sites are blocked so THEY can't access it. I wish I knew of some resources for you. I know my own children are the same age, but we just talk with them. I haven't felt the need for resources yet.

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Permalink Reply by Lynn Altomari on March 25, 2011 at 9:44am

The funny thing is this was the kid I uber-trusted not do something like this. I trusted him so much that I agrued with my husband that he was 'mature' enough to have an iPod in order to play games (the internet never crossed my mind). I trust all my children and we do block and filter on the PC but never thought about the iPod. We have discovered you can disable the internet and you tube so that has been done.

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Permalink Reply by SAHMinIL on March 25, 2011 at 10:32am

Personally, I don't think it has anything to do with trust or maturity. I think it has to do with age and body changes. We have noticed with our own 9 year-old who will be 10 in June that he has a bit of wondering eye.

What I mean by this is that we have noticed him looking longer at the swim suit models on the cover of things like sports illustrated swimsuit edition when we are at the store check out. Or other adverts, magazines, with attractive women will cause him to turn his head. I have no doubt that if mom (or dad) wasn't standing next to him he would have picked up the sports illustrated swimsuit edition to look at the pictures inside. We are sure this has to do with age and pre-puberty body changes.

I don't think my son would actively try to search for these things on the internet, but if a link was there, or if he 'accidentally' found it I'm sure he would keep on looking, and perhaps after accidentally find it once he would go back for more. I don't think he would be doing to be disobedient or anything like that. I just think that curiosity would get the better of him.

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Permalink Reply by Lynn Altomari on March 25, 2011 at 10:48am

Thank you for your response. It was what I needed to hear. I think the shock of it all has thrown me for a loop and I just want to 'blame' someone - anyone - even myself for him finding this stuff.