Faith and Family Connect

The Community for Catholic Moms

What to do when your child leaves the church

I am having a real hard time with this.  I will try and make my story short.  I have a 23 year old son who used to love his catholic faith.  He met a girl when he was 16-17 and they did not like the fact that he was catholic.  He started going to their church.  He dated her for 3 years.  They broke up and he slowly started to go to a couple of masses.  He then started to date a friend of his.  She attends a baptist church where her dad is a deacon there.  He now goes to her church.  While he was dating the first girl I prayed alot and I asked God to please get him away from her and her family. (you see, they told him he was raised wrong.  They were VERY anit-catholic)  I asked God to please help him meet another girl, that I didn't care inf she was a nice baptist girl as long as he got away from this girl and her family.  Well, God answered my prayer.  He is now dating a nice baptist girl.  (I don't know if God has a sense of humor or He is mad at me, you see, what I really wanted was for him to meet a nice catholic girl but I was so desperate I asked God any other girl will do)  I think I lied to God.  I can't seem to let this go.  I know how much the catholic church meant to him.  My son and his girlfriend have been dating for 2 years now.  I pray and pray novenas and pray the rosary asking for her conversion or for him to still meet a catholic girl.  I don't like feeling this way but I can't help it.  I guess we all want our kids to marry catholic and raise their kids catholic.  Please don't think bad of me but I feel like all hope is lost.  I know all things are posible with God but I can't help but feel like he will never come back, espicially since her dad is deacon at their church.  I even talked to my priest about this and he said to pray to Saint Monica and I do every night.  If anyone has anything that might help me deal with my feelings please let me know.  I cry almost every night.  I told my son when he was about 14-15 that there will be people trying to pull him away from the church and he said "I'm not going anywhere mom, the catholic church was founded by Jesus Christ"  Now it happened to him!  Thank you all for listening.  Any and all prayers and suggestions are truly appreciated.

God Bless you all,

 

Theresa

Views: 199

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Nicole Barousse on February 5, 2011 at 11:55pm

I don't have any experience in this, but I think he is blessed to have such a faithful and concerned mother.  Patience and surrender will be the hardest part,  but I hope you can find peace in handing him over to the Blessed Mother and trusting in God's power.  I know you will never give up hope and I believe God does not want you to be so anxious.  Besides prayer you can be a joyful, loving example of the body of Christ and hopefully he will be attracted back to the Church.  I will pray for you.

Nicole

Permalink Reply by Theresa Wright on February 6, 2011 at 8:41pm

Thank you Nicole and God Bless you!  Please keep him in your prayers.

 

Theresa

Permalink Reply by AJ on February 9, 2011 at 4:03pm

I'm just sharing as a daughter who never really really left the church but was definitely searching to find 'middle ground' with my then fiance.  Continue your strong faith!  TRUST that God will lead him back.  It is completely the case for me and a couple of my siblings that totally left the church.  We are back and so much stronger Catholics because of it.  My husband has even converted now!!  It is crucial too for us Catholics that are a witness to your son, girlfriend, and all to be living a life filled with Grace and reverence to the Lord.

Also, I find that praying for peace and grace to handle the situation is better than asking for the exact outcome you desire. 

God bless,

Amanda

Permalink Reply by Theresa Wright on February 9, 2011 at 6:58pm

Thank you Amanda.  I really appreciate your help/advice.  Please keep him in your prayers and I will keep you in mine.

 

God Bless,

 

Theresa

Permalink Reply by Theresa Foster on February 15, 2011 at 8:50am

I have noticed that God brings a Catholic into every family and perhaps that is what He is doing with your son.   I have no doubt that your prayers for him will be answered in the affirmative but in the meantime perhaps this is part of your son's mission to bring those whom He also loves back into His one true church.   I have a daugher who is 23 and one who is 19.   I told them as they were growing up that it is important to be on guard because the #1 reason people fall away from the One True Church is because of sex.   I don't mean to sound blunt but I see it in so many who have fallen away.  Instead of embracing the teachings of the Church ie God's natural law they fall away and therefore find a "faithfilled" way to live an immoral life.   I'm not saying that your son is doing this-I am just sharing what I have observed in my young and getting older adult life. 

I would keep praying and when you feel discouraged remember that God wants him and his future wife and family to also be in His One True Church-this might be part of God's plan to bring more fallen away people back in.

Please don't stop praying

Permalink Reply by Katie Brown on March 21, 2011 at 1:16pm
I am not Catholic, but have several friends who are/were Catholic/backgrounds. I understand your frustration, but at the same time, isn't it good to let people choose their denomination as an adult? I have done this myself. I was baptized Lutheran, but attended Baptist church and various other churches as a teenager/college student. I am still undecided on the best church for our family, and feel that God will send me to the best one. I still am on the fence about baptizing as on one hand, I was baptized as a baby, but the church I am attending doesn't do infant baptism, and my children are getting much older. However, I still feel the church denomination is not significant, as long as it is a Christ loving church with good values. I do appreciate Catholic values-I am supportive of their beliefs. It sounds like you have been a wonderful parent, fostering your child's spiritual growth. Let this person choose their religion-that is the best thing you can do as a parent. I have friends who have strayed from their family church and are independent in another denomination. That does not mean they are not strong believers-it is just that we need our independence as a family, or we may feel that the newer church is a better fit for spiritual growth. The particular church I am attending now has a younger generation, modern music, and the message is very strong and stays with me. I think sometimes people are looking for a change. Just pray that your child is in the best Christian enviroment, with a good girlfriend as well, that will lead him to Christ instead of keeping him away from church.
Permalink Reply by Elena LaVictoire on March 23, 2011 at 6:17pm

Hi katie,

 

It makes  a difference and if this was an apologetics forum, I'd explain it to you! ; )

 

To answer your question, Catholics don't consider the church to be just another denomination, but the Church founded by Jesus Christ himself. To us, there is indeed a difference and it's important enough to try to impress it on our children.

Permalink Reply by Theresa Wright on March 25, 2011 at 5:08pm

Thank you Katie.  I totally agree with you but I did not want to make waves with anyone.  Sometimes I think I am soooo proud of the Cahtolic faith that I forget we are not supposed to be too proud.  (Do  you know what  I mean.  I don't want to knock anyones beliefs because that is wrong)  But if everyone really took the time and studied what the Catholic Church really teaches, everyone would be a Catholic.  

 

Permalink Reply by Elena LaVictoire on March 23, 2011 at 6:14pm

I have a similar situation.

 

Keep up the prayers and all of the other spiritual things that you are doing. Be very welcoming of her into your home and make sure that your home is indeed truly a Catholic home!  Answer her questions and invite her to go to church with you rrom time to time.

 

It might be that he marries her and he leaves the church.  That happened to my grandparents. But eventually my grandma came back to the church and my grandpa became the best Catholic convert around! 

 

The main thing is for you to remain faithful and that you be like Naomi to any future daughter-in-law.  God has a plan and sometimes we just can't see it.  Remember it took St. Monica 30 years of faithful prayer to bring St. Augustine back - and he became a bishop and doctor of the church!  So a mother's prayers are super important!

Permalink Reply by Theresa Wright on March 25, 2011 at 5:15pm

Thank you so much Elena.  I pray every day and night for his conversion back to the faith.  I still cry alot sometimes when I think about how much he used to feel about his Catholic faith.  I keep reminding myself the words "Trust in The Lord"  But I can't help but wonder how long it will take and then I feel bad and start apologising to God for thinking that way for I know time does not matter to God.  It is hard but I have to remind myself that He knows whats best for me and my son.  Say a prayer for him and God Bless you.

 

RSS

Groups

© 2012   Created by Faith & Family.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Sign in to chat!